Day 32?

See, terrible.
Late night ramen runs. Oh, college.
Tonight was Kappa Phi's Agape Feast. Great sisterhood, great food. lol. Cheese and crackers and veggies and dip and fruit! PINEAPPLE. I told them they could all get me a pineapple for Christmas and I would be super happy. :)
After that, I went to Banning and got a cupcake from the cupcake decorating party then sat around and watched tv with my lovely Banning peoples. This Friday is the all-night party, with Thanksgiving food. From Cracker Barrel!!! And wings! YUM! Jalisa wants me to take her, but I don't think I will.
I love living in Banning. Always things to do. That's what's going to make me sad about next year if/when I live in Centennial. Buttt...I do like my privacy more than I thought. Anddd...if Sonny's just going to be in Lawton (please please please God), I'm gonna want my own bedroom. Hint hint. Anyways.
Went home this weekend. I missed my sisters. Especially after that dream about them getting in that car wreck with dad because he was drunk and Juli dying...
Geez, teared up again.
Anyways, the first night I was there, I was laying on the couch with Juli and she asked how long I would be there. And I told her two more days. Then she asked when I would be coming home forever. Awwww. I told her this summer, because it will feel like forever to her, even though I might be doing the Project Transformation thing...
Mom was just going to bring me back early on Monday morning, but dad decided they should all come. So we came up Sunday night and stayed in a hotel. Mom and dad had one bed, me and Juli had the other and Lauren and Annika slept on the floor. I wasn't able to sleep all night. At around six, mom told me I should get up and get ready to go, and right when she said that, Juli rolled over in her sleep and put her arm around my neck...geez :( She wasn't awake when I left though, and I was glad because she probably would have made me cry again.
...my stomach hurts and I've been all emotional. Haha, definitely not pregnant.
Nuh. I hate thinking about that...that everyone freaks out so much thinking I'm going to get pregnant and how TERRIBLE it would be. I mean...I don't want that to happen now...but at the same time, I hate that people make it sound like it would be the end of the world. Am I really supposed to tell my kids "Oh yeah, we were really glad you didn't come along any sooner, because we didn't want you." Really? Ugh. Idk. I just don't like it.
Made the decision today not to go to the Pearl Ball. I mean...I'm just so disillusioned with Alpha Chi. I mean, my sisters love me! They all really care about me! ...except they don't notice when I'm there or when I'm not. My big doesn't even care. Ugh. Plus I went all out for Victory and it was kinda really lame. So. Don't think I'm even going to bother. Jalisa thought it would be funny to tell Maria I wanted Fernie to go with me...which I didn't. Ugh. Hopefully she didn't ask him to go with me like she said she was going to, because that would just be awkward. Alley wanted me to go with her friend Nathan, but I didn't really want to go anyways so that's when I decided I wouldn't go. I'm just gonna...idk, do something else.
Blah...I have more to say, I think, but I don't wanna say it.
OH. I turned in the application for the college women's seminar in NYC. I'm so excited. I hope I get it...I really really hope I do.
...and I hope Jalisa doesn't. Idk. I just want to deflate her ego a bit. It sounds like a great experience. Jennifer said she was going to forward the information to me about it but David said he already had. And she says if I get to go, there's money in an account that they can give to me to help. YAY! I should find out by the 23rd. :)
This is to hoping I get it!