Still Day 44

Told you I'd write more! :)
So I just found out my Intro to Psych class for the day is cancelled because my (brilliant) professor apparently has come under the influence of "some flu-type crud". Yay. I think I'll try to go into work early. Three to eight. I really hope we get our checks early. Cuz that'll be quite the chunk of change for Christmas presents.
------
Figured it up. I just got a check for 41.98, I'm going to get a check for 72.50, and if it works out the way I want it too, my check that I will hopefully get before Christmas will be $286.375.
What is that? 400.85!
Oh yes.
But if my Saturdays don't work out, and the Monday of finals week doesn't work out, it'll just be $335.60.
Buuuuut...I really want it to be more.
So I've bought Annika's so far. A $35 donation to an animal shelter, that will provide a dog or a cat (preferably a dog) with healthcare. I think she'll like it.
Juli will be easy, an iCarly microphone I saw at Wal-mart, $15.
Lauren is relatively easy, I'll probably spend about $20 on her, just to be fair.
Sonny's is somewhat difficult because I'm having to choose between two different things. One will definitely have to be ordered, the other I could get at the mall. Either way it would get there after Christmas, most likely, because I have to get it with my check on the 15th, because they're both pretty expensive. I think I'll go with the more expensive gift, because honestly I think it'll be a pretty amazing gift...at least, I hope so. I hope he likes it...
So I just looked up guidelines on sending things to Korea! And have the APO address. Yay! This should be easier than I thought, I think.
Here's my Christmas list so far.
Annika
Juli
Lauren
Mom
Dad
Sonny
Jalisa
Big
Grandma Alline
Grandma Mary
Keka - Probably a drawing or something
Samantha
Tori

Yay! Superexciting.
:)

Day 44, timeanddate.com tells me...

Or one month and fifteen days.
How about that? It's already been about a month and a half...
...that hasn't been so bad, I guess...
Skype probably helps, but now I have an aversion to Skype, so who knows what will happen now.
He's in "the field" now, I guess. He says his team will only take a couple of days, since they're so efficient, rather than the two weeks they were told they would take.
I miss him already.
Even though half the time something manages to bother me enough that I withdraw and make him miserable, I forget sometimes how much I love getting messages from him, even when they just say, "love you babe" or something along those lines.
Probably one of the best things he's said to me was the other day, when he said, "your my baby and my one and only love, im in love with you rachel denise johnson <3".
That kinda really made me unexplainably happy.
I'm a funny person. If you would have asked me before, I would have told you I'm nobody's baby. Shaun tried to call me that, and I told him not to EVER call me that. Noah tried to call me that. HELL. NO.
But from Sonny I like it. 
I don't know, I guess...idk, maybe because...I feel like I've given myself completely over to him, I am his, and I feel like, when he calls me that, he's telling me he's going to love and protect me for forever. 
Idk, maybe I'm weird, but that's how it makes me feel.
And maybe it's because I've never let anyone else call me that, that makes it more special. :)
And because I am kinda really sure he's never called anyone else that either. :)
But anyways.
Attempting to pull an all nighter tonight, to study for my art history exam tomorrow...
...and that sucks, because I had finally gotten my sleep schedule worked out right. Nuh.
I was only able to sleep though, because Sonny wasn't able to talk to me. It's pretty much physically impossible for me to sleep when I could be talking to him, it's a fact by this point. 
So I didn't talk to him last night because he was on the field and actually slept from midnightish until 10:30. And it was nice.
Although I would have rather been talking to him, to be honest with you.
Oh yeah,  I put up a Christmas tree today in my room. It's a miniature Christmas tree, 2 ft tall, and it has silver tinsel on it, and little miniature gold, silver, red, and green ornaments. It's pretty adorable. I thought about Sonny when I was decorating it. If you can't tell, I think about him a rather lot. But anyways, I was thinking that when we have our own place, we'll decorate it together. And when I was thinking about what to put on the top of the tree, I was thinking about how Jalisa says she puts an angel on the top of hers because it's a tradition with her family. I was thinking maybe Sonny and I could start our own tradition. :)
Anyways. What else to talk about? I think I'm about to give up on this all-nighter endeavor. That's what sucks about getting back on a reasonable sleep schedule...when you try to pull an all-nighter again, it doesn't work!!!
Nuh. I'll write more later.

Day 40, I suppose...

Know what?
I am a terrible person.
I am a terrible selfish person.
I am a terrible selfish person who overthinks everything.
I am a terrible selfish person who overthinks everything and will have a horrible Thanksgiving.
I am a terrible selfish person who overthinks everything and will have a horrible Thanksgiving and hates crying.

That is all.

Day...whatever.

I'm the only one awake now. Just now realized that Courtney and Patrick are all snuggled up, Sean and Cara are, and the other two people in here that I don't know are. Brie's on the floor, I'm in this chair. We're the only two not cuddled up with someone.
Except for me and Jose the teddy bear, which Brie incidentally got for me. I got him from my room when I saw that Courtney had brought her panda out. Poor Jose though, the top of his head is wet. Nuhhhhh.
I watched Aladdin all by myself. Yay, happy ending.
Know what sucks? A happy ending doesn't happen for everything...you really think it will then it doesn't. Like Kevin and Winnie. The whole world knew they were supposed to live happily ever after and they didn't. How dumb.
But then again...what's so bad about being alone, considering the alternative?
Know what I realized? When my laptop is shut and sleeping, the silver (can light be silver?) power light fades in and out like it's breathing. How about that. Think I'm just going to match my breathing to its and try to sleep...

Day 34, maybe...

Decision of the night:
I need some insomniac friends. 
5 AM is lonely when you're the only one awake.
Or maybe I should actually start sleeping at conventional times...
Well we've proved that to be pretty damn impossible, now haven't we?
Confound it.
I don't even know anymore.
I'm not going to French. What's another Friday?

Day 32?

See, terrible.
Late night ramen runs. Oh, college.
Tonight was Kappa Phi's Agape Feast. Great sisterhood, great food. lol. Cheese and crackers and veggies and dip and fruit! PINEAPPLE. I told them they could all get me a pineapple for Christmas and I would be super happy. :)
After that, I went to Banning and got a cupcake from the cupcake decorating party then sat around and watched tv with my lovely Banning peoples. This Friday is the all-night party, with Thanksgiving food. From Cracker Barrel!!! And wings! YUM! Jalisa wants me to take her, but I don't think I will.
I love living in Banning. Always things to do. That's what's going to make me sad about next year if/when I live in Centennial. Buttt...I do like my privacy more than I thought. Anddd...if Sonny's just going to be in Lawton (please please please God), I'm gonna want my own bedroom. Hint hint. Anyways.
Went home this weekend. I missed my sisters. Especially after that dream about them getting in that car wreck with dad because he was drunk and Juli dying...
Geez, teared up again.
Anyways, the first night I was there, I was laying on the couch with Juli and she asked how long I would be there. And I told her two more days. Then she asked when I would be coming home forever. Awwww. I told her this summer, because it will feel like forever to her, even though I might be doing the Project Transformation thing...
Mom was just going to bring me back early on Monday morning, but dad decided they should all come. So we came up Sunday night and stayed in a hotel. Mom and dad had one bed, me and Juli had the other and Lauren and Annika slept on the floor. I wasn't able to sleep all night. At around six, mom told me I should get up and get ready to go, and right when she said that, Juli rolled over in her sleep and put her arm around my neck...geez :( She wasn't awake when I left though, and I was glad because she probably would have made me cry again.
...my stomach hurts and I've been all emotional. Haha, definitely not pregnant.
Nuh. I hate thinking about that...that everyone freaks out so much thinking I'm going to get pregnant and how TERRIBLE it would be. I mean...I don't want that to happen now...but at the same time, I hate that people make it sound like it would be the end of the world. Am I really supposed to tell my kids "Oh yeah, we were really glad you didn't come along any sooner, because we didn't want you." Really? Ugh. Idk. I just don't like it.
Made the decision today not to go to the Pearl Ball. I mean...I'm just so disillusioned with Alpha Chi. I mean, my sisters love me! They all really care about me! ...except they don't notice when I'm there or when I'm not. My big doesn't even care. Ugh. Plus I went all out for Victory and it was kinda really lame. So. Don't think I'm even going to bother. Jalisa thought it would be funny to tell Maria I wanted Fernie to go with me...which I didn't. Ugh. Hopefully she didn't ask him to go with me like she said she was going to, because that would just be awkward. Alley wanted me to go with her friend Nathan, but I didn't really want to go anyways so that's when I decided I wouldn't go. I'm just gonna...idk, do something else.
Blah...I have more to say, I think, but I don't wanna say it.
OH. I turned in the application for the college women's seminar in NYC. I'm so excited. I hope I get it...I really really hope I do.
...and I hope Jalisa doesn't. Idk. I just want to deflate her ego a bit. It sounds like a great experience. Jennifer said she was going to forward the information to me about it but David said he already had. And she says if I get to go, there's money in an account that they can give to me to help. YAY! I should find out by the 23rd. :)
This is to hoping I get it!

Day 23, I guess

Blahhh.
For future reference, the sinks in Banning bathrooms don't run water hot enough to make acceptable hot chocolate.
Missed classes and work AND Evensong today because I was so tired. Pretty sure I slept for the better part of 24 hours. I hate being sick. Guess my fever's gone for now though.
Yesterday was fun.
Woke up at 10:15 to a call from Billy asking me if I was going to the service. Got up and got dressed then walked over there, quick practice then the service started. It was good, it just bothers me how apathetic all of the Clara Luper and AIS scholars are. Excuse me, it was your status as a minority that got you your scholarship...an hour and a half service too much for you? Give back the 25,000 dollars.
After that, they all piled in for lunch. They all got mad because they lined up real quick and we made them sit down so the guests could go first. And of course it works out that half of the people who helped don't get Indian tacos, i.e. me, Billy, Jalisa, and David. So David took us out to Chileno's and me and Jalis and Billy all ended up getting the Special Mexican dinner. Yum. I should stop thinking about it, because I haven't eaten all day and it sounds really really good right about now... =(
Anyways, at the service, Victoria had said that she really wanted cupcakes because she had had to miss her little cousin's birthday party to help serve lunch. So I told Billy that it would be really cute if her bought her a cupcake somewhere. So after lunch we went on a search for cupcakes, all over Bricktown. We thought we would just have to resort to Wal-mart, but leaving Bricktown, Billy spotted a place called Pinkitzel, candy and cupcakes. It was so funny, he goes "CANDY AND CUPCAKES! YEAH! YEAH!" haha. So we went in and he got Victoria a chocolate malt cupcake because he liked that it had a little pink and white straw sticking out of the top, lol, and bought me and Jalisa and Victoria candy. He's such a good guy, lol.
He made us give it to her though, because he doesn't want her to feel like he's being too mushy.
She loved it! I'm pretty sure we scored him some major points. =)
After we gave it to her, I went back to my room and passed out...and woke up with a fever. Ugh it sucked. Pretty sure I had it until this afternoon.
...and...other stuff happened. Don't feel like talking about it.
Blah.

I don't know anymore.

Let's sleep forever.

Day 18

See, I told you, I'm terrible about not updating.
But I suppose I have an excuse...Homecoming madness.
Arrggh.
My knees hurt from lipsync practice, falling to the ground and whatnot.
It's currently 12:30--
--no, wait, it's 12:59. I just got distracted for 29 minutes messing with an app that was supposed to turn my iPhone into a mouse for my Macbook.
Geez.
Anyways. What's happened? Sonny finally got a new laptop and internet. So I've been staying up absurdly late just to talk to him. The first night it was until 8 AM, last night it was until 6 AM. Kinda really ridiculous.
I know it's terrible for me to stay up so late just to talk to him, but honestly, I get caught up with doing other stuff and end up staying up until two or three anyways, what's another hour?
And after I start Skyping with him, it's hard to get off. lol
But anyways. Idk, the first time I saw him over the webcam...idk, it just made me happy.
He looked different...somehow. Idk. Maybe I was just really happy to see him again. =)
Got distracted again. It is now 1:18. But it's because I was putting my new classes into iCal and color-coordinating them and whatnot, because I am a freak.
It'll help in the long run!
...even though it is distracting me from my paper for Cataldi at the moment.
Oh well.
Wanna know my schedule? Sure ya do!

1. Art History Survey II ------------------- MW ------------- 9:30-10:15
2. Critical Thinking ------------------------ TTh  ------------- 9:30-10:15
3. Honors Colloquium -------------------- W -----------------12:30-1:20
4. Foundation 3D Design ---------------- MW -------------- 2:30-5:00
5. Elementary French II ------------------ TTh -------------- 2:30-3:45
6. Careers in Psychology ---------------- TTh -------------- 6:30-7:15

Not too bad. Only 16 hours though. I wanted more but Hakman really didn't want me to have to file a petition.

Hmmm.

I really like Hakman though. Even though now I kinda suspect that perhaps Jowaisas was supposed to be my advisor...oh well.

La la la.

Guess I'll try to do my paper now.

...expect me back soon enough, probably. =)