Why do I only write in this when I'm sad?
I don't know.
Why is it that it seems my worst fear is always on the verge of coming true?
There's always going to be other people who understand his life now better than I do and they see him every day when I can't.
What can I do about it?
I hate crying.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Day 151: 5 Months
Why doesn't it ever start to feel any better?
I hate crying. It's the most useless display of emotion ever.
I hate crying. It's the most useless display of emotion ever.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day 145: Two Days
Until 20 months.
And I'm gonna post a Facebook status about it.
I wonder if anyone rolls their eyes if/when they notice I celebrate every month that Son and I are together, at least by mentioning it.
I guess it's just that when you're so far apart for so long, every month that passes is like another small accomplishment.
My latest decision has given me something to work for I think. I just think to myself that I just have to make it to December and everything will be better. I'll be right where I want to be for the rest of my life.
But right now...I just want to be home. :/
And I'm gonna post a Facebook status about it.
I wonder if anyone rolls their eyes if/when they notice I celebrate every month that Son and I are together, at least by mentioning it.
I guess it's just that when you're so far apart for so long, every month that passes is like another small accomplishment.
My latest decision has given me something to work for I think. I just think to myself that I just have to make it to December and everything will be better. I'll be right where I want to be for the rest of my life.
But right now...I just want to be home. :/
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day 143: Oh, You Life-Altering Decisions, You...
Here's what I have decided. I am an adult. I am no longer a child/teenager, whatever.
As a kid, you do what your parents tell you (for the most part) and generally go along with your wishes.
Eventually though, it comes time to put your big girl undies on and make your first controversial "grown up" decision. I suppose for others, this may be their choice in college or something, or in Brie's case it's deciding to live with Ran against what is most likely her parents' wishes.
Welllllll...I'm not going to say what mine is, because honestly it's a rather big decision and while I am possibly perfectly positive about it, I still don't feel comfortable saying it until it become more definite of a possibility.
Let's just say this.
In the ten total months that Son and I have been apart, I have come to realize that I love him as much as I'm ever going to love anyone, that if we can make it through being 7000 miles apart for six months at a time we can make it through anything, and I'm simply not happy when I'm not with him.
I talked it over with Tori before I actually talked it over with him and she agrees with my reasoning.
I talked it over with him just now and he wants the same things I do, and I think it can work.
So let's do this.
I was discussing this with Tori and while waiting for her to finish typing her response, I clicked Stumble on my favorites bar. This graphic popped up and this was the quote on it:
"expect the best, be prepared for the worst, fuck what others think, and do your own thing"
A sign? I think so.
As a kid, you do what your parents tell you (for the most part) and generally go along with your wishes.
Eventually though, it comes time to put your big girl undies on and make your first controversial "grown up" decision. I suppose for others, this may be their choice in college or something, or in Brie's case it's deciding to live with Ran against what is most likely her parents' wishes.
Welllllll...I'm not going to say what mine is, because honestly it's a rather big decision and while I am possibly perfectly positive about it, I still don't feel comfortable saying it until it become more definite of a possibility.
Let's just say this.
In the ten total months that Son and I have been apart, I have come to realize that I love him as much as I'm ever going to love anyone, that if we can make it through being 7000 miles apart for six months at a time we can make it through anything, and I'm simply not happy when I'm not with him.
I talked it over with Tori before I actually talked it over with him and she agrees with my reasoning.
I talked it over with him just now and he wants the same things I do, and I think it can work.
So let's do this.
I was discussing this with Tori and while waiting for her to finish typing her response, I clicked Stumble on my favorites bar. This graphic popped up and this was the quote on it:
"expect the best, be prepared for the worst, fuck what others think, and do your own thing"
A sign? I think so.
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